The Flamingo Chronicles: Past, Present and Future
by Writer in the making
Summary: CJ and Danny today, tomorrow and to the end. About discovering that the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return! Chpt 10: Perfect:I have been foolish too many times Now I'm determined I'm gonna get it right!
1. Like a natural woman

Like a natural woman

I slowly awoke to Danny trailing small kisses up my left arm. I opened my eyes and smiled at him.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?"; I whispered just before tears made it impossible to speak. He instantly reached up and caught my lips in a smoldering kiss.

As the kiss ended he withdrew and saw the tears in my eyes.

"I've loved you ever since I saw you for the first time and all you ever have to do is just to let me love you", he said as he drew me into his arms.

He lay behind my in the bed that was now ours and his right hand slowly settled on my lower abdomen. My right hand joined his and our fingers entwined over the tiny life we had created.

"Tell me again", he said with happiness all evident in his voice.

"Tell you what again", I said in a teasing voice. I had never felt as happy as I did right now.

"You know… tell me again", he said again a little more persistent.

"I don't know what you're talking about", I said in a voice similar to the one I used to take on in the pressroom when a reporter was prying into something I didn't really what him to know.

"Just tell me", the honesty and love in his voice did me in.

"We're pregnant", I told him as I turned around to face him. His eyes were burning into my soul. We hugged each other for what seemed like an eternity. I felt herself drifting off to sleep.

"Danny, we should get up…", I tried to untangle myself from the sheets and him.

"Go back to sleep CJ, we barely slept last night and you need more sleep now", he said in a soothing and already caring father voice. I smiled at him and moved back into his arms. The hint to last night made me blush. He still did that to me. When I finally let my guard down after Leo passed away, life had really never been better. As I drifted off, I thought of how happy I was now. I just wished I'd never wasted so much time keeping him at arms length.

"Lookin' out on the mornin' rain

I used to feel uninspired

And when I knew I had to face another day

Oh it made me feel so tired

Before the day I met you

Life was so unkind

But your love was the key to my peace of mind

Cause you make me feel

You make me feel

You make me feel

Like a natural woman

When my soul was in the lost and found

You came along to claim it

And didn't know just what was wrong with me

Oh till your kiss helped me name it

Now I'm no longer doubtful

Of what I'm livin' for

Cause if I make you happy

I don't need to do more

Cause you make me feel

You make me feel

You make me feel

Like a natural woman

Oh baby what you've done to me

You make me feel so good inside

Good inside

And i, I just wanna be close to you

Because you make me feel so alive

Oh what you've done to me

Close to you because you make me feel so alive

You make me feel

You make me feel

You make me feel

Like a natural woman

Woman

You make me feel

You make me feel

You make me feel

Like a natural woman

You make me feel

Oh baby what you do to me

Can make me feel so good inside

I just wanna be, I just wanna be

Oh what you've done

Natural woman "


	2. One

"One"

Danny felt tears merge with anger and hurt. As he walked back from his "20" minutes lunch with CJ, he felt worse than he had ever felt.

Was it all a lie? Was he fooling himself? Would she never really let him in? He had never loved anyone like he loved her. God, he had never really loved before he met her.

And he knew he or anyone else for that matter didn't need to look very deep down to see what she really wanted. She wanted him, she needed him and she loved him! Why wouldn't she admit that?

Upon returning to his apartment he sat down on the edge of the bed they had shared. His hand slowly traced her side and he lay back and starred up into the sealing.

His eyes felt heavy and he quickly dozed off. Exhausted from the sheer disappointment he had felt when he realized she was still doubting his, her and their love.

After waking up he took a shower. As the water hit him he felt the anger still evident within him. Was this supposed to be this hard? After waiting almost 8 years for her kisses, touched and possible love he wanted more, he wanted all of her. Not only a quick and chaste kiss like this morning.

She kept putting the press, the President, the administration, transition memos, the President elect and anything else in sight between them. He had to make her understand that they could do it, that they could make it. But he also knew that she herself had to admit that her life as CJ Cregg was over and her new life as Claudia Jean Cregg, possibly Concannon, was beginning.

All he wanted was to hold her and convince her through his touch, kiss and actions that he loved her and that they could and would make it. Turning of the shower, the last angry feelings washed away with the water. There was only love and a desperate hope that she would soon realize how good they were together. He missed her as soon as she was out of sight or reach. With her he felt complete.

Pulling on a pair of jeans and a dusty light green blouse, he decided to fix himself a drink. Just as he felt the smooth liquid slide down his throat, warming him from the inside out, there was a loud knock on the door.

Life was about to get better.

"Is it getting better?

Or do you feel the same?

Will it make it easier on you now?

You got someone to blame

You say

One love

One life

When it's one need

In the night

One love

We get to share it

Leaves you baby if you

Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you?

Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?

You act like you never had love

And you want me to go without

Well it's

Too late

Tonight

To drag the past out into the light

We're one, but we're not the same

We get to

Carry each other

Carry each other

One

Have you come here for forgiveness?

Have you come to raise the dead?

Have you come here to play Jesus?

To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?

More than a lot.

You gave me nothing,

Now it's all I got

We're one

But we're not the same

Well we

Hurt each other

Then we do it again

You say

Love is a temple

Love a higher law

Love is a temple

Love the higher law

You ask me to enter

But then you make me crawl

And I can't be holding on

To what you got

When all you got is hurt

One love

One blood

One life

You got to do what you should

One life

With each other

Sisters

Brothers

One life

But we're not the same

We get to

Carry each other

Carry each other

One

One"


	3. Naked

"Naked"

It wasn't supposed to feel this good. This amazing and fulfilling. Not after all this time. We had together for nearly three years now. Surely, I had never really cared much for stories of the women who only felt 100 percent complete when they made love. I never believed that true love would feel like this. That was for Hollywood to make money out off.

We had seen the doctor today. She confirmed what I already knew and had shared with Danny last night. I was pregnant. Something I could add to list of Hollywood happy endings I never really believed in. At least until now.

I looked into his eyes and felt warmth starting to spread rapidly though out my body as he slowly kissed me on the mouth. His tongue slowly but with determination parted my lips. The sound of my own moan surprised me. Our tongues explored already familiar territory but with a new feeling. It quickly turned into passionate kissing and hands exploring. Suddenly he stopped kissing me and moved down my naked body. He lightly placed his head on my stomach. I thought he was only going to kiss my stomach and then return to my mouth as so many other times earlier in the day. But this time he stayed and I suddenly felt a wet sensation on my skin.

"Danny?", I whispered pretty sure the wetness came from tears.

He slowly lifted his head and looked at me.

"I'm so incredibly lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for this", his fingers caressed my stomach.

"No, thank you!" I rose and sat up against the headboard. "Danny I never knew I'd feel this way. I never knew I could love and be loved like this. I was just sure I missed the window and how to do all this somewhere between press briefings and sit-room meetings", I grabbed his hand as I spoke.

His hand was caressing my inner thigh. Not in a sensual way but a reassuring, caring and loving way.

"I waited for you for nearly eight years, never doubting that eventually you would turn to me and let yourself lean on me. I always dreamed about having a baby with you, but I never dared think it would actually happen and I can't wait..", he told me in a soothing voice that suddenly turned a little insecure:

"You are excited about this, right?", he looked me straight into the eyes.

I felt tears running down my cheeks. Before I'd probably turned my head away while contemplating my answer but this time my answer was straight and honest:

"Yes Danny. I am very excited. I never thought I would be a mother. Never felt very maternal but then you came along and all that changed. You keep changing all the things I never thought I could do, experience or have into something good", I had been looking into his eyes this entire time, but now that it came down to it I felt my courage fading away.

"Thank you for waiting", I whispered before a sob escaped me. He drew me into his arms gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. We looked at each other for a long moment.

Then our mouths met in a crushing kiss. Our tongues were struggling to get even closer; our hands were everywhere at once. I felt his hand stroking me gently and groaned out loudly which only enflamed our passion even further.

I could feel his erection pressing into my thigh as we rolled around on the bed, trying to get comfortable, bed sheets, limbs and pillows everywhere. His fingers entered me, as did his tongue when our mouths met in a passion filled kiss.

"Oh God, Danny", I panted as he quickened the pace of his fingers. And then he put just the tinniest amount of pressure on my bundle of nerves. I felt like the entire world was zooming in on me.

"Yes", I heard myself say in a strained voice. Danny leaned in, kissed me on the neck and whispered

"I'm here", that did it. His caress brought my hips off of the bed, my head fell back and an explosion of warmth spread though my body. I was trembling and crying as I regained awareness in Danny's arms. He kissed me and reached down between us to make sure I was ready for him.

"Come here", I silenced his doubts with a kiss, while grabbing him and guiding him to me.

"I'd wait forever for this", he said just before we became one.

---

"Under this midnight sky

With you here by my side

There's nothing that I could hide

You know me better than anybody else

All of myself revealed

There's nothing I could conceal

My soul is yours to steal

Take me wherever you want to baby

Baby I'm naked

So naked with you

Feels like the first time

I'm trembling, shaking

My heart's overtaken

Feels like I'm falling

All over again

Baby come and take me

'cause I'm trembling shaking

My heart's almost breaking

Baby I'm naked with you

Baby when you're away

It's almost like I'm afraid

I only wanna stay

Caught up in these stolen moments

So let's lose ourselves tonight

Forget the world for a while

Make love till the morning light

Take me wherever you want to baby

Baby I'm naked

So naked with you

Feels like the first time

I'm trembling, shaking

My heart's overtaken

Feels like I'm falling

All over again

Baby come and take me

'cause I'm trembling shaking

My heart's almost breaking

Baby I'm naked with you


	4. Full of grace

"Full of grace"'

I never felt more lost. When my secret service agent asked me "where to?". I knew Toby was watching me from the window, but I didn't want to turn around, I wanted to look forward. I always knew leaving The White House would be one of the hardest things I'd ever have to do. In some ways it stood for and defined everything I ever was or had become.

In some ways I hated it for leaving me standing out here in the bitter cold without knowing where I was heading. The past eight years had brought me much happiness, sorrow, insight, growth, disappointment, heaven and hell. And HIM.

I watched as the streets passed by outside the window. The wind was picking up. Small droops of rain landed on the glass like small explosion, each and every one of them followed by one of my own tears.

The last couple of weeks had been wonderful. Being with him made me feel alive but at the same time he represented the end of my days in that glorious prison on Pennsylvania Avenue. It was bittersweet. And I felt like I was drowning in my own confusion.

"Are we there yet?" I heard myself ask in a small voice.

The secret service agent in the passenger seat turned. His eyes were serious and tentative. I realized he had to be mortified. I was in the backseat crying like a confused teenager. Driving from one guy to the next. His eyes had settled on mine. With a smooth soft voice he said:

"Just about, is there anything I can do for you Ms. Cregg?" the sound of his serious voice made me understand how distressed I had to look.

I didn't have the strength to answer him. All I wanted was to be wrapped up in Danny's arms, having him tell me things would be all right. But I knew I had treated him so badly earlier today. Why did I have to do that every time? I kept on hurting him when all I wanted to do was hold on to him for dear life.

I knew I loved him. There was no doubt, I never felt this way before. Not even close with Ben. Simon had been special; he came along when I really needed someone. Who was I kidding? He filled the void from when Danny left. Yes, he left me!

I looked out the window as the car pulled up in front of Danny's apartment. But he came back. My door was opened and an usually icy wind greeted. I froze in my seat. This was it, make it or break it. God, I hope he'll understand and give me time.

I steeped out of the car. There was no turning back. And for the record, so to speak, he came back. He came back as he promised. Well not promised in words but in his actions. His kisses always held so much more than any other kiss she had ever received, even given herself.

As he opened the door I felt like I was about to faint. But then we locked eyes and I immediately felt better. He didn't look mad, furious or even upset. He looked… he looked good. Relaxed? Worried even?

I could feel the tears in my eyes. I never thought I would be standing outside a guy's apartment apologizing for wanting to be myself, let alone outside his apartment. But I was ready, ready to be myself with him. I trusted him enough, I loved him enough.

With my heart on my sleeve, as cheesy as it sounds, I steeped into his apartment, into his life and into my future.

---

"The winter here's cold, and bitter

It's chilled us to the bone

We haven't seen the sun for weeks

To long too far from home

I feel just like I'm sinking

And I claw for solid ground

I'm pulled down by the undertow

I never thought I could feel so low

Oh darkness I feel like letting go

If all of the strength and all of the courage

Come and lift me from this place

I know I could love you much better than this

Full of grace

Full of grace

My love

So it's better this way, I said

Having seen this place before

Where everything we said and did

Hurts us all the more

Its just that we stayed, too long

In the same old sickly skin

I'm pulled down by the undertow

I never thought I could feel so low

Oh darkness I feel like letting go

If all of the strength

And all of the courage

Come and lift me from this place

I know I could love you much better than this

Full of grace

Full of grace

My love"


	5. At last

"At last"

I felt a little self-conscious about my very daring choice of dress as I stepped out of the limousine. It truly was very far from what I wore at the White House. But as soon as Danny's eyes locked with mine, the doubt I had melted away like ice cubes on a sizzling summer day. The pride and love in his eyes as he put his arm around my waste, made me feel warm and lightheaded with happiness.

It was still so early in my pregnancy that most people would have never known the difference. In the two and a half years that had passed since I left the White House we very rarely went out and my trips down any red carpet could be counted on one hand. Somehow that wasn't a part of my life anymore. Not that I didn't enjoy dressing up and putting on a pair of stilettos from time to time, but lately the desire had somehow vanished. Maybe state dinners, official banquets and party fundraisers had been enough for me.

But here I was. My dress was black silk and clung to my body in all the right places as Danny had put it when I showed him my purchase yesterday. The straps were twisted and crossed on my back. The neckline was rather low cut and tastefully showed off my recently enlarged breast. Pregnancy really had its advantages. Besides the twisted straps my back was bare. The silky thin fabric made me feel glamorous and sexy.

"WOW, why didn't you wear stuff like this to work every day?", Josh almost shouted as soon as I stepped into the grand ballroom. We were attending a party fundraiser in LA where the senior staff from the Bartlet administration was invited as guests of honor. He came over and hugged me as I hit him lovingly on the arm for his comment. Along with him came Donna. She looked stunning in a light blue silk slip dress with a big diamond necklace and her blond hair swept up in a soft stylish ponytail.

"CJ, you look amazing, living with Danny really agrees with you", Donna said before hugging me and giving me a light peek on the cheek. They greeted Danny with hugs as well.

"Seriously Danny what did you do to her?", Josh kept on talking. "Well, we all know what a fox she is but still she is really looks..." Donna grabbed him and made an excuse for them to walk away. She was laughing at him when they walked away hand in hand.

It might have been a while since politicians and White House staff surrounded me but I somehow felt right at home. I took a minute to take it all in. The room was filled with the loveliest smell of roses and candles lit up the room along with two giant chandeliers. People sat at small round tables. A band played soft jazzy music as people mingled and I saw as President Santos and Helen started slowly dancing in the middle of the dance floor. Other couples joined in and soon the floor was almost filled. We had come a little late to the party, because we had an appointment with my doctor earlier and we had gone out to diner after.

"CJ, you look absolutely stunning tonight", I turned around and saw Abbey Bartlet smiling at me.

"Danny you are one lucky guy", President Bartlet had a firm hold on Abbeys arm and walked with a cane in his other hand as they moved towards us. We met them with hugs and kissed.

"Sir", I was so happy to see them.  
"I've missed you", I told them truthfully.

We talked about the life the former first couple led now, my new life with Danny, working for the Hollis foundation and President Santos new health care plan. At one point Danny excused himself for a short while to say hi to a couple of reporters but he quickly came back and joined the conversation. He came carrying a glass of red wine for him and a glass of water for me.

The president didn't notice but Abbey immediately looked at my glass. She then looked at me and a smile slowly crept to her face.

"CJ you truly are glowing tonight", she said in a "I know what you're hiding" kind of way.

"Thank you Abbey, I never felt better", I said as I reached for Danny's hand.

After a while we parted and as Abbey was hugging me she whispered:

"Congratulations sweetie, call me and tell me all about it", she said as her hand briefly touched my stomach to make absolutely sure I knew that she knew.

"I will and thank you Abbey", I said out loud and laughingly kissed the president good-bye before Danny dragged me towards the dance floor.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this song was requested by the gentleman with the beautiful lady in black silk", the front singer said.

"And may I add you are one lucky guy!" the singer said with a wink before he started singing.

I felt everyone's eyes zoom in on me.

"Danny, what are you doing", I said and resisted for a second but when I heard the first words of the song I gave in.

---

At last

My love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

At last

The skies above are blue

My heart was wrapped up in clover

The night I have looked at you

I found a dream, that I could speak to

A dream that i, can call my own

I found a thrill, to press my cheek to

A thrill that i, have never known

You smiled, you smiled

And then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine at last

I found a dream

That I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own

I found a thrill, to press my cheek to

A thrill that i, have never known

You smiled you smiled

And then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine

At last

At last

At last


	6. If you asked me to

**If You Asked Me To **

I felt how all my fears and insecurities slowly vanished as I looked into Danny's eyes. He somehow made me feel like I could do anything and that we could truly be great together. And most importantly he had waited for me.

"CJ let me in" Danny pleaded with me. He walked towards me and I subconsciously steeped back a few steps. I still had to get use to the fact that this was really it. But he was faster than me. He was there in two big steps and gave me a big hug.

"I'm sorry", I mumbled into his shoulder and felt myself clinging to him with all my being. He then pulled me out from him and slowly reached down to untie my coat. I had been tying it tighter as we spoke and I felt almost relieved when he loosened the belt. His hand came in at my shoulders and lifted off the coat, removed it and slid it down my arms and into a puddle at my feet. I looked at him and felt his eyes burning through me. There was no way back, no way out. Even though all he had removed was my coat I felt completely naked.

"I wont be very good at this" I whispered and felt a tear slide down my cheek. He reached up and wiped it away.

"Oh I know you will, we'll take it slow", he answered right before he reached over and softly kissed me. Even though it was far from our first kiss it somehow felt different. New and defining in some way. But it quickly intensified and I felt myself being pushed towards the wall. My hands were trying to remove his blouse and his were cupping my butt as we reached the wall and bumped into it with a loud crash. Our mouths were hungrily kissing and out tongues merged with each other. But I let out a loud gasp as my back hit the wall with quite a lot of force.

Suddenly there was a loud knocking on the door.

"Ms. Cregg are you alright?" It was one of my Secret Service agents. On the way up the stairs I now remotely remembered asking them to wait for me outside the apartment. At that point I was afraid my visit would be short and possibly unpleasant but I had forgotten all about them as I saw the door open and saw Danny.

"Emmmh… Yes, I'm fine" I managed to say as I pushed Danny a bit away from me, even though he was pretty busy trying to rid me of my blouse.

"We just need to come in and make absolutely sure" I could hear the strain in the agent's voice. I guess chaperoning me on dates and nights at Danny's apartment would seem kind of awkward to them.

Danny growled a little, I could easily feel why on my left thigh.

"Danny" I said with a little smile, "I just have to let them know, I'm doing very well", I said and kissed him lightly as I walked to the door while adjusting my blouse.

I opened the door and walked into the hallway.

"I'm fine." I felt a little bit like when I had to ask permission to spend the night at a boyfriend's house when I was younger but knew I was being ridiculous.

"I'll be here all night, but I'll be ready to leave by 7.10" I finished off and got a small smile and a "yes, mam", before the two agents walked down the stairs towards the car. The last thing I heard before closing the door and meeting Danny's lips with her own was:

"Flamingo is in for the night"…

---

Used to be that I believed in something

Used to be that I believed in love

It's been a long time since I've had that feeling

I could love someone

I could trust someone

I said I'd never let nobody near my heart again darlin'

I said I'd never let nobody in

But if you asked me to

I just might change my mind

And let you in my life forever

If you asked me to

I just might give my heart

And stay here in your arms forever

If you asked me to

If you asked me to

Somehow ever since I've been around you

Can't go back to being on my own

Can't help feeling darling since I've found you

That I've found my home

That I'm finally home

I said I'd never let nobody get too close to me darling

I said I needed, needed to be free

But if you asked me to

I just might change my mind

And let you in my life forever

If you asked me to

I just might give my heart

And stay here in your arms forever

If you asked me to

If you asked me to

Asked me to, I will give my world to you baby

I need you now

Ask me to and I'll do anything for you baby, for you baby

If you asked me to

I'd let you in my life forever

If you asked me to...


	7. You are so beautiful to me

**You are so beautiful to me**

I felt Danny's eyes on me as soon as I entered the buzzing living room at the former President Bartlet's estate in New Hampshire. It was just before Christmas and we were invited to spend the last weekend before Christmas at the Bartlet farm. Today we would share happy news. I was pregnant. We would become parents. I had never felt as proud and happy as I did walking towards Danny who stood in the opposite part in the crowded room.

Even though I tried to hide it, a slight rounding could be detected, but only if seen from a specific angle. But that was not all I was trying to hide. A pretty grand emerald cut diamond engagement ring sat on the fourth of my left hand's fingers.

The room was almost filled with people. Laughter and talk filled the room. I saw Abbey's eyes smiling at me. I smiled back. She nodded towards Danny and I nodded back. She knew what was about to happen.

We arrived last night. It was not meant to be like that, but Abbey and Jed insisted. They both knew I was pregnant. Abbey had found out at the fundraising gala and Jed just recently, when he had confronted her about the frequent and hushed phone calls to California. One night he had asked Abbey flat out if I was pregnant since we spoke almost daily. It somehow reminded him of the many and more than once daily phone calls she made to Ellie during her pregnancy. She confirmed his suspicion and after that he called us at 1.00 am to say congratulations.

The daily phone calls started out as part medical advice part emotional support but recently it had become mostly support and motherly advice. And I loved it.

When we arrived last night Jed drew me into a hug.

"Claudia Jean, it's so good to see you again" He pulled back and looked at my stomach. We all laughed. His eyes asked the question and I nodded. He put his one hand on my stomach while supporting himself on the cane with the other.

"Hey kid, you are the luckiest kid in the world. You'll have the best parents in the world." As he spoke a tear escaped my eye. Danny noticed and put his hand around my waist as he quickly kissed the tear away.

Abbey who had trouble keeping her own tears at bay ushered us into the living room where they sat down. Abbey and I went in first, talking and laughing, the mood turning light and humorous again.

The men behind us. Jed put his hand on Danny shoulder and said:

"So Danny, when will you make an honorable woman out of our CJ?" The conversation between the Abbey and I stopped immediately and my head snapped up.

"Uhmmm. Sir, I kinda…" Danny felt his cheek redden. He knew how the President felt about things like these. And in some way he had already taken care of that, when he asked me to marry him last night. But we had decided to keep it a secret for a little while. So Danny felt a dilemma coming on.

But I knew that Danny would never share our secret and just take the President's fatherly teasing and serious hits to heart, so I moved to my future husband's side, put my arm around his waste, grabbed his right hand with my left and gave it a small squeeze before saying:

"Well, Mr. President he already has".

The words made a smile that lit up my entire face appear on my face, and the healthy glow that I spotted from the pregnancy seemed even more radiant than before.

Abbey who had sat down jumped up and started talking and clapping. The President shook hands with Danny as Danny reached into the inner pocket of his blazer and withdrew the engagement ring I had worn until we parked outside the front door a couple of minutes ago.

He slipped it back on my finger and gave me a kiss that was a bit inappropriate considering we were not alone. The sound of the President clearing his throat made us jump apart. But we were only met by happy smiling faces.

And now I was walking towards Danny in a room filled with the people I loved. I was about to announce both our engagement and my pregnancy. I had been upstairs getting ready around two hours before the other guests would arrive and felt a bit tired. Danny told me to take a nap and come down whenever I felt like it. He went downstairs after he pulled a blanket to cover me. He kissed me and closed the door just as I fell asleep. I woke an hour and twenty minutes later and heard people talking in the foyer. The sound of Josh's voice somehow made it all the way up here. I smiled and got up. I slipped into a knee long dress. It was emerald green and flowed loosely around my legs but clung to my upper body including my lower abdomen. It had a v-neck and un top of the fabric several broad silky strings went from under my bust over my shoulders to collect on my back bellow my shoulder blades. I wore small diamond teardrop shaped earrings and a pair of low heals in the same color as my dress. I saw people looking at me and smiling. I waved at Carol and Ginger. I gave Margaret a quick hug, as she had to hurry to the bathroom.

I looked back at Danny and saw his eyes looking at me with love and a huge smile. He looked so proud and happy. I felt happy too. And maybe a bit warm. Suddenly I saw his eyes change from happiness to concern. He was saying something, I could see his mouth moving and I say others turn at look in my direction as his mouth opened again as in a scream. I wondered why until I felt myself slowly sinking to the floor. The last thing I heard before everything went dark and I collapsed was Danny calling out to me as I felt two pair of hands grabbing me so I didn't hit the floor with full force.

If I had been conscious I would have witnessed a room go from laugher and small talk into chaos and yelling.

Danny almost knocked Ed and Larry down on his way over to me. Donna and Josh had been on their way to say hello and had been the ones who caught me when I collapsed. Abbey came running.

"What happened?" she demanded to know.

"I don't know" Danny said confusion and panic evident in his voice.

"She just suddenly collapsed and then we tried to…wait a minute" Donna noticed the slight rounding and seemed to panic. Jed noticed.

"Ok everyone go to the dining room or library now. Danny, Donna and Josh you can stay" The President said in his old "I'm your commander in chief" voice. Everyone immediately started clearing the room.

Josh just sat there holding my head in his lap. He had noticed my engagement ring, but knew this was not the time to comment. So he gave Danny's shoulder a squeeze and moved for Danny to sit in his place.

I started to move slightly as I regained consciousness.

"Danny" my voice sounded weak and confused.

"I'm here darling, just try and open your eyes" Danny leaned down and kissed me slightly on the forehead.

Abbey was checking my vital signs as I suddenly moaned out in pain.

"CJ tell me where it hurts" Abbey had switched into doctor mode as soon as she had seen me swaying before I collapsed.

"Oh no" I cried out as her hand came down to my stomach area.

"Please someone do something!" Danny was clearly panicking as I started to drift off again. Abbey gave Jed a look that said everything and he grabbed Danny's arm to calm him down.

"Danny she'll be alright, but you panicking wont do her anything good. We already called the paramedics they'll be here in a couple of minutes." Jed tried to calm Danny but felt himself panicking as he saw Abbey examining me. She pressed lightly on my lower abdomen. And I screamed out in pain.

Abbey checked to see if I was hemorrhaging but there was no blood, which was at least comforting.

"Danny I'm so sorry" I said before the pain stabbed through me again like sharp needles.

"Shhhshhh" he tried to stop me from talking because he saw it caused me further pain.

"CJ listen to me have you had any pain before today?" Abbey was asking me and I tired to remember.

"I'm not sure, maybe" I tried to remember.

"This is very important Claudia Jean. Can you remember for me?" Abbey asked.

I thought back. Actually I had felt a little sore the last two days, well after last night and out lovemaking following the proposal I also felt sore, but figured it was part of extensive lovemaking when you're pregnant. I didn't tell Danny. He would have worried and blamed himself. I had felt nauseous earlier today and threw up after breakfast but I passed it off as morning sickness even though I had not been very touched by that.

The pain was getting stronger and my pulse was rapidly increasing. Just then the 911-call ambulance arrived. When the paramedics lifted me onto the stretcher I cried out for Danny.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere" Danny told me, as he held my hand and wiped away a stray of clammy hair from my forehead.

In the next room Donna and Bonnie held each other's hands and cried.

As Danny sat by my side in the ambulance he felt the entire world crashing down around him. CJ had been given a small sedative before they departed for the hospital and was almost asleep. Danny had shared what the trained paramedics and on-call nurse who came along already noticed. CJ was pregnant.

As he watched the snowy landscape outside the ambulance fly by he listened to the radio playing a song that almost cut his heart to pieces.

Suddenly he felt someone lightly touching his arm.

"Sir, we are approaching the hospital." It was the nurse, she had tried to get his attention for almost two minutes.

As the ambulance pulled up in front of the hospital he said a small prayer. Anything that would save her. In one small second he didn't care about the baby, all that mattered was CJ.

---

You are so beautiful to me

You are so beautiful to me

Can't you see?

You're everything I hoped for

You're everything I need

You are so beautiful to me

Such joy and happiness you bring

Such joy and happiness you bring

Like a dream

A guiding light that shines in the night

Heavens gift to me

You are so beautiful to me

----

To see the engagement ring go here:

http/ 


	8. Promise me

**Promise me**

The floor of the bedroom felt cold as my feet settled on them. The alarm clock on Danny's nightstand said 2.50.am. I woke a couple of minutes ago. The feeling of being in someone else's arms, the smell of another human being, the complete happiness and bliss was almost too much for me.

My naked body already missed his caress and holding but I needed to get some air. This entire day had been like a rollercoaster. But most importantly I had finally let myself feel free and loved.

I walked to the window and sat down on a pillow that had been tossed from the bed as we made our way to the sheets earlier on. The air outside felt fresh and cool as I put my hand to the small open crack. I leaned up against the wall and the memories of our first night together.

I had never felt as low as I did when I walked the stairs to Danny apartment that night. I was supposed to feel happy for The President Elect but all I felt was a profound sorrow. We had lost Leo. I still couldn't get it into my mind.

My agents walked in silence behind me up the stairs. As I had gotten out of the car I just started walking, not minding them at all. One of them lightly pulled on my sleeve.

"Ms. Cregg we need to check the apartment before we can let you enter" He saw the evident tears in my eyes and added:

"I'll do it very quickly I promise, but I have to walk in front of you from now on."

I slowly nodded.

It was very late. Almost 2.00. a.m. but I didn't care. It was now or never. I needed someone. I needed him. And I felt like there was nowhere else to go.

As soon as the agent knocked on the door it was opened. Danny appeared in grey sweatpants and a Notre Dame t-shirt. He couldn't see me, because I was standing behind the other agent just down the hallway.

"Good evening sir may I come in for a minute?"

Danny just nodded. He still couldn't see me. But a small smile appeared on his lips.

"Thank you sir" my agent came out into the hallway and gave me a nod. I took a few steps into the light coming from the lit apartment living room and looked up. I saw Danny's hand reaching out for mine. And I stepped into his apartment and into Danny's arms.

Somehow he knew what I needed. He knew that talking about it would kill it, so he quickly led me towards the bedroom. I thanked him with a kiss that started out as sweet strawberries but ended up as a full force fire.

I reached down to lift his t-shirt up as he worked the buttons in my shirt. I had somehow managed to get rid of my coat somewhere in the living room.

As he reached up to caress my cheeks and leaned in to kiss me I saw him seeking permission with his eyes. I gave him a small nod before I steeped closer and pulled him towards me.

Once my knees bumped into the bed behind me none of us were wearing much of our clothes anymore. I sat down and scooted up the bed as I pulled Danny with me. I saw him looking at me with something I couldn't really determine. He looked almost drunk. His eyes were blurry and his breath ragged. Then I realized I probably looked the same.

I felt him stiffen a bit when I reached into his boxers. He gently pulled my hand away. I looked at him slightly confused.

"CJ are you absolutely sure this…" I silenced him with a passionate kiss that left us both catching for our breath. His hands came up to cup my breasts still covered in the lace bra I wore.

I began to reach back to unhook it but Danny caught my right hand and raised it over my head with his left. He reached down and kissed me through the lace. A moan escaped my mouth. His other hand was slowly tracing circles on my other breast. His fingers slowly reached under the sheer fabric which made me arch up against the skin now touching me directly.

After another passionate kiss and our bodies trying to become one by closeness alone we sat up slightly to remove the last pieces of clothing.

As soon as Danny's hand settled on my thigh I felt my legs open up almost automatically to his touch. He caressed my thighs as I tried to cup his ass, but my arm couldn't reach around in the right angle.

"Danny I need you to…" he instantly knew and moved to position himself between my legs. His fingers now stroking me.

After that there were no more talking. As I felt him enter me I felt my arms and hands frantically clawing for something to hold onto. His arms and hands settled over mine as his mouth descended over mine.

Our first lovemaking was one of tenderness, passion and love. It was not awkward but entirely all consuming of our bodies. I felt a familiar tingle start to form as Danny picked up the pace a little.

I could feel that he was close. I felt the same as well. I wanted to ride the waves with him so I tried to remove my right hand from his firm hold. But again he read my mind. He slowed down for a second. We locked eyes as he kissed my hand and put it back over my head. He then reached down to where we became one and with gentle fingers and pressure made me reach and ride the same wave as him seconds later.

We fell asleep completely wrapped up in each other. Like all the touches, hugs and kissed we had missed in the last seven years had to be made up for here and now.

I felt a feather light kiss on my left shoulder and slowly opened my eyes. Danny was sitting on the floor opposite me. He reached for my hand. I looked over at the nightstand. The alarm clock said 3.55 am.

We sat in silence watching the moon setting and the stars slowly disappearing. Then Danny stood up pulling me with him.

"Come to bed…"

We got back into bed and he settled behind me. His right arm came to rest over my side and his hand settled on my lower stomach. He kissed me lightly on my right cheek before he whispered:

"This, us, right now. It was worth the wait."

I felt tears rolling down my cheeks and wanted to say something. He sensed and said:

"Tomorrow"

---

You light up another cigarette

And I pour the wine

It's four o'clock in the morning

And it's starting to get light

Now I'm right where I want to be

Losing track of time

But I wish that it were still last night

You look like you're in another world

But I can read your mind

How can you be so far away?

Lying by my side

When I go away I'll miss you

And I will be thinking of you

Every night and day just...

Promise me you'll wait for me

'cos I'll be saving all my love for you

And I will be home soon

Promise me you'll wait for me

I need to know you feel the same way too

And I'll be home, I'll be home soon

When I go away I'll miss you

And I will be thinking of you

Every night and day just ...

Promise me you'll wait for me

'cos I'll be saving all my love for you

And I will be home soon

Promise me you'll wait for me

I need to know you feel the same way too

And I'll be home, I'll be home soon

Promise me you'll wait for me

'cos I'll be saving all my love for you

And I will be home soon

Promise me you'll wait for me

I need to know you feel the same way too

And I'll be home, I'll be home soon


	9. The second you sleep

**The second you sleep**

The sound of my screams cut through Danny's heart as I was taken from the ambulance and into the emergency room. The sedatives were slowly fading. The only thing I noticed as I was wheeled into a brightly lit room was Danny's eyes. His eyes and the tears streaming down his cheeks. I knew this was bad. His hand held mine tightly as I was lifted onto the examination table.

"Ms. Cregg, I'm doctor Lisa Morrison" I saw a woman about Abbey's age but with curly blond hair in a ponytail leaning in. She took my other hand and squeezed it lightly.

"My baby" my voice came out as a low whisper and even though the room was filled with nurses and another doctor who had just arrived she seemed to hear me.

She leaned down and whispered back:

"I'll do anything to save you baby Ms. Cregg don't you worry." With that she gave me a smile and brushed a small stray of hair away from my forehead as she stood right up again and said:

"I'm sorry sir, I will have to ask you to leave as I examine Ms. Cregg"

Danny started protesting but it was useless. He then leaned down and kissed me lightly. I'm sure he saw the sheer panic in my eyes.

"I'll be right out side. I love you so much" he let go of my hand and was escorted out.

"Lets have a look" Lisa told me.

She began her examination. I screamed out in pain as she lightly pressed on my stomach, as one of the nurses took my temperature. After a while I felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. Before everything went black and I was surrounded by a soft black velvety bliss I looked towards the door and remembered Danny's eyes and tears again.

On the other side of the door Danny was experiencing the worst minutes of this entire life. Up until now he thought the minutes after Rosslyn before he knew I was all right had been the worst but this was even more devastating.

A couple of minutes after he had left the examination room he saw Josh, Donna and Abbey approaching. Running in fact.

"How is she" Josh began asking as he gave Danny a firm hug.

"What did they say? Oh man I'm sorry. Where are the doctors? Hey we need a doct…" Donna pulled Josh gently away.

"Josh let's get some coffee ok?" she said sensing that Abbey was the one Danny really needed to talk to.

They went to buy coffee and left a teary eyed Danny with Abbey.

"Danny, what is happening" Abbey said just as I was heard screaming.

Danny turned and started opening the door but Abbey along with Sam who had joined the party back at the house late only to hear the bad news and race to the hospital.

"Let go of me" Danny struggled to untangle himself as the door opened and dr. Morrison came out.

"How is she? Can I see her please?" Danny managed to get rid of his two friends.

"Mr.? " she looked down at her chart and up again slightly confused.

"Concannon" Danny said. "I'm her fiancé"

"Mr. Concannon your fiancé has appendicitis and has been taken straight to surgery" she told him.

"So she will be ok?"

Danny felt a little relieved. Appendicitis was not that bad or dangerous was it? When he didn't seem to process the importance of the information Abbey stepped in.

"What are the risks?" she said switching to doctors mode.

"Well, Mrs. Bartlet the appendicitis was very advanced and I am very aware that Ms. Cregg is only ending her first trimester. However, waiting would be highly risky and…"

"Possibly fatal" Abbey added. That word caught Danny's attention.

"What are you saying? Fatal. But I thought…. So what does this mean?" Danny felt panic in every fiber of his body.

"Mr. Concannon An appendectomy is not likely to harm the fetus or cause a miscarriage and woman in the first trimester are not the most risky cases. However there is a risk of miscarriage but we'll do our best."

Danny sat down in the hospital waiting room. He was scared. Very scared.

Seconds became minutes and minutes became hours. He never noticed but he was drifting off as he dreamt of our life and love.

---

You close your eyes

And leave me naked by your side

You close the door so I can't see

The love you keep inside

The love you keep for me

It fills me up

It feels like living in a dream

It fills me up so I can't see

The love you keep inside

The love you keep for me

I stay

To watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight

Tomorrow you'll be gone

It gives me time to stay

To watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight

Tomorrow you'll be gone

I wish by God you'd stay

I stay awake

I stay awake and watch you breathe

I stay awake and watch you fly

Away into the night

Escaping through a dream

I stay

To watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight

Tomorrow you'll be gone

It gives me time to stay

To watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight

Tomorrow you'll be gone

I wish by God you'd stay

Stay

Stay

I stay

To watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight

Tomorrow you'll be gone

It gives me time to stay

To watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight

Tomorrow you'll be gone

It gives me time to stay

To watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight

Tomorrow you'll be gone

I wish by God you'd stay

Stay awake

Stay

Stay

I wish by God you'd stay

By Saybia


	10. Perfect

**Perfect**

I never knew what real love was supposed to feel like. I never felt like I had it just right. Not until now.

It had been a couple of months since the inauguration released me from the glorious prison on Pennsylvania Avenue. I had come to California to settle down with Danny. He had been looking for a place for us to live but wanted to wait for me to finally decide. Today we were getting the keys for our new home. This was it. The beginning of my new life.

I stood in our rental apartment looking out onto the small park where several couples, children and a nanny or two were walking around. I notice a young girl who was out jogging. She passed a young man around her age. Both of them smiled as they passed each other, both of them turning their heads as they ran on. I smiled remembering how many times that had been me. Out there looking for love. For that special someone. Obviously it had been years but still I remembered the familiar feeling of being on the look out for anything interesting anywhere I went back then. But that part of my life was over now. To be honest it had been for years. And I was glad it was finally over.

I jumped when a couple of strong arms came around my waist but settled just as quickly as the person behind me drew me in for a tight hug and kissed my neck.

"Sorry, you were thinking. Didn't mean to scare you." He whispered into my ear before nibbling lightly on it.

"Danny, are you happy?" I suddenly felt like I needed to be completely sure before I let myself go in way too deep.

"Yes" he answered, the simplicity of his answer as natural as the two young people checking each other out a couple of minutes ago.

"Don't be scared. It's ok to feel happy and you deserve it" he said as he reassuringly stroked my arms. He turned me around to face him and gave me a hungry kiss.0

As I felt his lips work magic on me I finally let go of the last paper-thin walls around my heart. I didn't care what anyone said anymore. This was perfect. And it was all mine.

Hand in hand we walked from our car and to the front door of our new house. Danny had the key in one hand and mine in the other. As we reached the door he turned to me and asked:

"Are you happy?"

---

I don't want halfhearted love affairs

I need someone who really cares.

Life is too short to play silly games

I've promised myself I won't do that again.

It's got to be perfect

It's got to be worth it

yeah.

Too many people take second best

But I won't take anything less

It's got to be

yeah

perfect.

Young hearts are foolish

they make such mistakes

They're much too eager to give their love away.

Well

I have been foolish too many times

Now I'm determined I'm gonna get it right.

It's got to be perfect

It's got to be worth it

yeah.

Too many people take second best

But I won't take anything less

It's got to be

yeah

perfect.

Young hearts are foolish

they make such mistakes

It's got to be perfect

It's got to be worth it

yeah.

Too many people take second best

But I won't take anything less

It's got to be

yeah

perfect.

It's got to be

yeah

worth it

it's got to be perfect


End file.
